I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i came on her dog
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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