ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
4 words: hood of his car
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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