The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
