I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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