he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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