My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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