This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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