The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
