awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
