I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You don't make any sense
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