Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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