Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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