She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
