I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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