she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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