I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
