we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
