I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
