i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I could make wine with my vomit
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
