Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
