You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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