I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
