escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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