If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
pray to the hookup gods
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
