Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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