I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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