Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You can't just leave with hair like that
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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