They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
