We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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