okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
