The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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