we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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