I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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