yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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