Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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