Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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