God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ladies don't puke and tell
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
