I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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