The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize