Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
