Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
