I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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