Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
