So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Someone shattered a urinal.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
