This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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