if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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