aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
