i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
