i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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