whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
