If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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