....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Found the puke drawer
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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