Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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