i think i have herpe
just one?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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