i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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