how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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