I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
