She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
