I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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