I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize