More tranny stories later!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
