Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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