Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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