I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
