You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize