Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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