whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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