Porn is love you can see.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
