He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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