Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize