my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
