Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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